36 questions I'm asking myself at 36
And a very special birthday discount
Yesterday was my 36th birthday. To celebrate, I’m offering new paid subscribers 36% off a subscription to the J Mail if you subscribe within the next week. This means, if you choose an annual subscription, you’ll get the J Mail for just £2.44 a month. Bargain! If you were thinking of upgrading your subscription, but were on the fence, now is the time. Paid subs are what enable me to write this newsletter, and I am so grateful for each and every one of you for being here. Thank you. To access this very special discount offer, click here.
Birthdays are a strange thing as you get older. Yesterday, I felt lucky. I have so many amazing friends in my life. I cooked a meal for a small group, crowded around my table at home, on Saturday. And I spent the day itself in tech for my next show. Doing what I love.
It was a long day - but it was brilliant. I was made to feel loved and special by my amazing company - and went out for a chilled dinner with a dear friend at the end of the long day. I wouldn’t have it any other way (the only thing missing was my beloved whippet Pan - but she’s not a great fan of tech. It’s the dark and loud noises).
I like to use birthdays as a way marker. A moment of reflection - to look back and cast forward. Last year, I shared 35 lessons I’ve learned. This year, I wanted to share 36 questions I’m asking myself at 36. Maybe it’s being flung headlong inside a show at the moment. When I’m directing, I find questions so much more helpful than lessons or statements. So, these are the questions I’m asking myself in the wish that they might be helpful to you, too. Here we go.
What can I do to create more space in my day?
How can I make this morning feel like a holiday, even when I’m working?
Can I make this easier?
Does this dish have enough lemon in it? (the answer is almost always no)
Would I want to do this plan if I had to do it tomorrow?
What book would I most enjoy reading right now?
Would I like to move my body?
What would be the most enjoyable way of moving my body be?
How can I make this feel more like a magic spell / game / ritual?
What does it feel like to do this social event sober?
What can I do this morning that will take care of my future self? A packed lunch that is delicious? A chai in a little flask? A treat?
When buying food out, how can I only invest in the things which are genuinely better than what I can make myself and feel like a real treat?
How can I be as present as Pan?
Where can I take less responsibility for how other people feel, while still showing up for them? (Knowing that there is no way I can control how people feel anyway…)
How can I make this less stressful?
How can I make this more silly?
Where can I bring more lightness into this process?
Have I taken the time to notice what is good about this before jumping to what is bad?
What’s the thing I am most proud of that I did today?
How am I, really?
Where am I at personally? - and
Where am I at professionally?
How can I remember that however entwined these two things are, that they are different?
How can I help everyone to feel appreciated and valued?
What small acts of care would really make a difference - to me, and to those around me?
Do I really want to do this?
What can I give myself in the morning which will make me want to immediately get up for the day?
What’s the most delicious treat?
What would you do differently?
Shall I make myself some soup?
Have I completed the stress response cycle?
Does my soul live in my body - where and how?
Should I go for a swim?
Where can I create meaningful change?
What would make this really worthwhile?
How are you, really?
Do any of these questions resonate with you? Are there any you ask yourself on a regular basis? I’d love to hear! Let me know in the comments.
In writing this list, I realised it reminded me of an incredible exhibition I saw years ago, from Swiss artists Peter Fischli and David Weiss - Flowers and Questions at the Tate Modern. I saw it with my brilliant mum, and it contained a room all in black filled with questions - from the profound to the quotidian. The questions are collated into a small and beautiful book, titled, Will happiness find me? One of the questions my mum and I still ask each other is the immortal, ‘Shall I make myself some soup?’, to which the answer is almost always, yes.
Thank you for reading this week’s edition of the J Mail. You truly make this place what it is. If you liked this letter, please do hit the little heart button - apparently, it helps others find the J Mail. And don’t forget - you’ve got a week to get in on the 36% off birthday discount!
Thanks for reading, right to the end. I’ll see you next week. You’re brilliant.
J x