37 things I know at 37
Reflections on another year around the sun
Today is my birthday. I often find myself in rehearsals at this time of year and honestly? I wouldn’t change it. This year feels particularly special as I’m in week 1 of rehearsals for my upcoming show at the Royal Court.
Each year, I like to share the things that feel important, right at this moment. Some playful, some profound, all came to me this morning. Here we go…
Reading is always a good idea - especially in the morning.
In fact, starting the day with a coffee that you take back to bed with a good book will make every day feel like you’re on holiday.
Read widely, read voraciously: read what calls to you, not what people say you should read. Old and new, fiction and non, trashy and serious.
If you love a book, once you’ve finished reading it, immediately press it into a friend’s hands. It’s such an act of love.
Writing always helps to figure things out - writing by hand even better.
Put some writing near the beginning of each day.
When you feel unmoored, hanging out with a dog (especially Pan) always helps.
In fact, Pan is my greatest teacher: she’s interested in the things that matter and she constantly lives in the present.
If you feel grumpy, you almost certainly need something to eat. Especially if it’s between 6 and 8pm.
Put time and care into your space, whatever it looks like.
Arrange the books, curate the artwork - even if it is postcards in frames from Ikea (in fact, some of the best gallery walls are this).
Make your space somewhere that gives you inspiration and delight and you’ll feel these things more almost without even noticing it.
Search for wonder in the quotidian. The blossom on your ordinary walk to the tube, the overgrown grass in someone’s garden that whispers in the breeze, the woodpecker in the park making that amazing sound.
Ask as many open questions as you can.
Listen. Really listen. Don’t just want for your turn to speak.
Open yourself up to be surprised at any opportunity.
Find delight in what you’re wearing.
Give yourself space to practice desire: wanting, dreaming.
Cooking is always a good idea.
… And so is following recipes! It’s taken me a long time to realise this and now I love a recipe. It’s really broadened my repertoire.
Find a snack you really love and learn how to make it. For me, it’s these tahini brownies (happy to share the recipe - if you’re interested, drop me a comment). They are delicious and easy to make and actually super healthy because they are mainly seeds and nuts and I eat them every day.
Make the small items you use every day the most beautiful and satisfying versions of themselves - I have a little snack tine for aforementioned brownies which brings me pleasure every time I use it.
And similarly, give away or sell the things that don’t work for you. The itchy fabrics, the bottle with the unsettling texture, the shoes that are too small. Dispense with unnecessary discomfort.
When you have small pleasures - savour them. I feel this way about coffee every. Single. Day.
Examine your habits and ask yourself if you want to change them.
Be curious about why you do the things you do.
Try sobriety for 100 days and see what happens.
And, indeed - sobriety is a superpower. You have so much more time, you get so much more done, your emotions make so much more sense.
Move your body every day.
Don’t let your phone sleep in your room - or even come into your room, if you can. This has been the single most effective wellness intervention I have ever done, honestly.
When you go on dog walks, leave your phone if you possibly can - for me, this is quality time for me and Pan and the phone interrupts that.
Take time to gaze at your loved ones (and Pan) and take in every aspect of them.
Experiment with style, with clothes, with scent. See what it does to the way you hold yourself.
It’s not a holiday unless you’ve plunged yourself into cold water.
If it can’t be a yes, make it a quick no.
The greatest gift to those around you is balancing clarity and compassion. Don’t tell people what you think they want to hear - you can never really know.
Always let your curiosity get the better of you.
Thanks for being here, and supporting the J Mail. It’s become such a wonderful space for me to share and reflect. I appreciate every single one of you. You’re brilliant.
J x
Happy birthday! I’d love the recipe please x
Happy Birthday, Jess! Loved reading this